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New English for Europe

Публикувано на: 04 Юни 2008, 18:53
от Don Horhe
The European Union Commissioners have announced that an agreement has been reached to adopt English as the preferred language for European communications, rather than German, which was the other possibility.
As part of the negotiations, the British government conceded that English spelling had some room for improvement and has accepted a five-year phased plan for what will be known as EuroEnglish (Euro for short).

1. In the first year, "s" will be used instead of the soft "c".. Sertainly, sivil servants will reseive this news with joy. Also, the hard "c" will be replased with "k". Not only will this klear up konfusion but typewriters kan have one less letter.

2. There will be growing publik enthusiasm in the sekond year, when the troublesome "ph" will be replaced by "f". This will make words like "fotograf" 20 per sent shorter.

3. In the third year, publik akseptanse of the new spelling kan be expekted to reach the stage where more komplikated changes are possible. Governments will enkorage the removal of double letters, which have always ben a deterent to akurate speling. Also, al wil agre that the horible mes of silent "e"s in the languag is disgrasful and they would go.

4. By the fourth year, peopl wil be reseptiv to steps such as replasing "th" by "z" and "w" by " v".

5. During ze fifz year, ze unesesary "o" kan be dropd from vords kontaining "ou", and similar changes vud of kors be aplid to ozer kombinations of leters.

Und efter ze fifz yer, ve vil al be speking German like zey vunted in ze forst pleis.... :lol:

Re: New English for Europe

Публикувано на: 04 Юни 2008, 19:19
от uktc
It ended up being German... :)

Re: New English for Europe

Публикувано на: 07 Юни 2008, 17:06
от Joker
That really is a nightmare! Yet another kind of English.... :roll:

Re: New English for Europe

Публикувано на: 08 Юни 2008, 00:52
от Cezare
are they normal? :shock:

Re: New English for Europe

Публикувано на: 08 Юни 2008, 21:31
от Crematory
:lol: ze is the way French pronounce the :))
So it is a mix of German and French :)

Re: New English for Europe

Публикувано на: 09 Юни 2008, 19:12
от Joker
Sth like an Anglo-Franco-German Esperanto? ...., ...., ........ :bounce:

Re: New English for Europe

Публикувано на: 11 Юни 2008, 14:29
от Crematory
:)
Have you ever seen dutch written..it is almost exactly like the "new English" :mrgreen:

Re: New English for Europe

Публикувано на: 12 Юни 2008, 12:25
от lollabunny
Don Horh, yu'v usd a "c" in ze end... Ples, korekt it :wink:

Hey, this new English is really awkward :shock:

Re: New English for Europe

Публикувано на: 12 Юни 2008, 16:17
от Don Horhe
Korekted! :P

Re: New English for Europe

Публикувано на: 13 Юни 2008, 14:00
от Smoking Mirror

Welcome puritans

Публикувано на: 15 Юни 2008, 23:20
от pora_e_priqtel
Hi everybody! I suppose you have already noticed that there is something special about our forum. Yes, it's a forum with character. It seems our sweet forum is a supporter of the idea of virginal conception and regards every word related to lust and physical desire with contempt. In plain words you have probaly noticed that or forum does not tolerate using vulgar and scandalous words such as "..." or "....". But just like every other rule this one can be got round. Our lovely friends in the European Union have taken care of this and invented the simplified English in which we can freely use the words "sеks" and "fak".
Nais tu si iu gais :)

Re: Welcome puritans

Публикувано на: 16 Юни 2008, 17:45
от Joker
pora_e_priqtel написа: virginal conception :)
I would rather say "imaculate conception", but still you are right! :bom:

Re: New English for Europe

Публикувано на: 21 Юни 2008, 15:01
от sedrik
Just awful!

Re: New English for Europe

Публикувано на: 24 Юни 2008, 12:36
от pora_e_priqtel
Why so gloomy? :)

Re: New English for Europe

Публикувано на: 14 Ное 2008, 12:13
от pora_e_priqtel
Or should I say "Why sso sseriouss?" :clown: